Mother's Day

Today is what is referred to as Birthmother's Day, the day before the traditional Mother's Day. I started to think about this a little bit last night after reading a fellow adoptive mom's blog posting on the subject. About what it means to me as a mother and what it means for Everest as my son. 4.5 years ago a woman or a girl gave Everest up. This is Everest's story. It is not my story to tell. However, we can assume just by the very nature of giving birth that there is an undeniable bond you are going to have with the child that you've carried for nine months. I look at Everest right now and it is my own personal thought that his birthmother perhaps thought that Everest's condition was too fragile and unmanageable at birth and this makes me sad. Sad for Everest. Because 4.5 years later and Everest's condition is nothing if not manageable. It makes me sad for this mother that she lost the joy of watching Everest become who he is today. It makes me sad for all of the questions my son will never have answers to. It also makes me mad. Mad at this woman for not sticking it out regardless of whatever societal, economical or cultural issues were at hand. And that is not at all fair. I without a doubt realize this. It is just that Everest is so beyond my dreams of what it means to have a son that I am mad that he should suffer any hardship. But I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Everest is now my son. He is loved. He is cared for. He is a gift. 4.5 years ago a woman gave me a gift. He is my son and he is loved.